A Prayer

6/6/2024

Lord, I don’t know HOW to pray. I want to feel you, Lord… It is the deepest desire of my heart to know that you are with me. To feel that my life has a purpose. To experience intimacy with you. To know my identity is rooted in you…

I feel constantly lost, Lord. Pulled in multiple directions with no sense of focus. Everything takes time: working out, cleaning, mothering, cooking, working… I don’t feel like I have any mental clarity. No matter how much I have progressed in this area, I do not know a life that isn't about tasks.

I am always behind. I am all untapped ambition. No talent. No direction. No leadership.

My lack of mental clarity causes me to wish on other people’s stars. I am caught in the sin of only seeing progress in others. I am constantly making excuses as to why I can’t focus or complete something beautiful, like what I see others molding. I feel like I have lost the reins of my life. Where in this world is worth trotting towards? Does every valley end in disappointment?

I believe I have gifts inside of me. I am filled with talents beyond my wildest imagination, yet I am trapped in a straight jacket. Unsure of how to unwrap myself from all of the twists and the bands of small lies. I am chained by comparison. My lack of clarity ties me down. What do I even want?

Deliver me Lord from the chains. Eliminate the minutia and wasted time. Invite me onto the sandy beach. Walk with me by the waters.

• If I were all alone for a year what would I want?

• What would I dream of?

• What is me and what is my influence?

• What sets my soul on fire?

Holy Spirit come… Teach me how to live.

“Be who God meant you to be and you will set the world on fire.” - St Catherine of Siena