How Lent Became Sourdough
*Warning* this story will seem like it has nothing to do with Sourdough Bread. It does :) Be patient
Lent is a practice that began in the 4th century to purify and prepare new converts to the Catholic faith. Yup, that’s right… People have been doing this for 1700 years!
Over time, it has evolved, as all good things do, to be a full church 40-day cleansing. From Ash Wednesday through Easter, Catholics pick a discipline to take on daily to purify their hearts and bring them closer to the Lord.
But this post is not just for Catholics.
Sometimes, we all need a reset, a purification to bring us closer to the center. It is good to dedicate time to self-improvement, not self-improvement that comes in the form of behavior modification and striving to be better… trust me... I have tried that. I am referring to the type of improvement that comes from a deep inner knowing that you are completely incapable of fixing your problems alone. An awareness of your lack of control and undeniable littleness in comparison to the mountains of life.
An intentional 40-day fast can create deep and lasting change no matter what your religion of choice is.
For years, I have approached Lent the wrong way…
I’ll just tell you a story... In previous lents, I have strived to do things out of my own will. Mimicking more of the independence of Eve in the garden than the trust of Mary, ya know? I have tried…
Giving up cookies (my favorite food group)
Writing a letter to someone every day
Not complaining
Not criticizing
Eliminating my attitude… no comment on that one lol
Praying the rosary every day
Not picking at my acne
Giving up social media
All have resulted in complete and total failure lol.
I repeat, complete and total failure.
By day 5 of Lent, I end up looking at myself in the mirror and thinking, “What the heck is wrong with me? Why can’t I do this?”
Lent 2024: I had the novel idea *insert sarcasm here* of praying about what God might want me to do for Lent, instead of self-assigning myself the most difficult thing possible.
And pray I did.
Usually, when I pray for answers, I find myself frustrated because it's not like He writes me a letter or shows up to tell me the answer.
I recently learned from a mentor and spiritual leader, Beth Davis, that the best way to identify the voice of God and distinguish it from your own thoughts is to ask yourself, “Is this something I would typically say to myself?”
I don't know about you, but typically, when I speak to myself, I am not very kind. I use accusatory language to judge and condemn myself. I point out three things I do wrong before I will ever celebrate what I do right.
God's voice is not condemning. It's gentle, loving, and empathetic. He is a good father. When I asked the Lord what to do for Lent I let him know what I was thinking of doing, which was doing a 40-day blitz of maximum effort in my business. My thought was, well, I'm probably not as disciplined as I should be. Let me just apply myself some more. Immediately, I felt a gentle thought come into my head: “Make a meal for your husband every day”.
MASSIVE EYE ROLL.
If you know me, then you know that I am a Costco pre-made mac and cheese on Thanksgiving, Instant Pot, Crock Pot dump, “Oops! did I burn that?” type of cook. If you know Philip, then you know that he loves food. It is not one of the 5 love languages, but it is definitely HIS love language.
This had been a point of contention in our relationship FOR YEARS. We are both busy people, and it felt like the process of cooking, mostly cleaning, took light years. It was vulnerable and simply just unmotivating to go into the kitchen and face the fact that “I suck at this” or “I'm not very feminine because I don't know how to cook” or “how are my grandkids going to know the foods of their cultures if I can’t cook anything but ramen noodles” (I tend to be a bit dramatic lol).
This was all exacerbated by memories of Philip and I arguing in the kitchen and times that I felt criticized by him or by others. People laughing at the way I cut things, burning food right before others come over, or people tasting what I made and immediately reaching for salt to “fix it”.
I also felt like it was Philip’s turn to change. After 9 years of dating, you definitely have your ups and downs, and I felt like I had changed a lot recently, and it was his turn. So when I heard the gentle voice in my head say to cook him a meal every day, it penetrated my heart in a way that I knew that it was true. Change always goes both ways, and my heart had grown calloused in certain areas of our relationship.
If I wanted lasting and deep change in our marriage, I needed to act as the Lord does, which is to share unconditional love. I knew that somehow, doing something as simple as cooking every day was going to do more for me than sending out more marketing materials for my business. It would put me in a space of vulnerability and littleness that would allow the Lord to heal my heart. I also knew it was Him because I would NEVER tell myself to cook for Philip every day.
The first meal. Looks WAY better than it tasted lol.
You would think, well, since I am following God’s voice, it will be easy. But of course, the first day that I planned to be a cherub wife, we had a not-so-fun argument.
This was followed by multiple other not-so-fun arguments. “Umm, Hi God. You said you wanted me to do this. Why is it making things worse?”
Thanks to His grace, I kept trucking along, but the fruits of my labor were tasting pretty sour… until Easter Sunday… kind of? I invited a lovely friend over to show me how to make sourdough bread. Neither of us knew how, and we made an absolute mess, but on Easter Sunday, I made my first loaf of sourdough bread. It was below average, to say the least.
The first bake attempt.
Then I proceeded to kill my starter (the mix used to make the bread) and had to ask a friend for more, but in its simplicity, I just kept trying. Through the process, I learned that sourdough began in 2000 BC (that’s a long time folks), its health benefits, and reflected on Jesus being the LITERAL bread of life.
I got better and better until I got freaking good at making bread. Then I got good at making cookies, seafood pancakes, naan, Banana bread, mac and cheese, pasta, basically, if it has sourdough in it, I know how to make it taste GOOD.
Laughable to you, maybe, but to me, this was a full-on revelation. In the pathway of Lent, God taught me to serve even when I am not good at it and even when it’s not appreciated. Over that time, he used my community to teach me new skills that I consistently applied until BOOM. I got my confidence back. “If I can cook this, why can’t I cook that?”
Now, a year later, we are staring Lent 2025 in the face. I have started my own little bakery out of my house where I sell 10 loaves biweekly to neighbors and friends. With a goal of reaching 20 loaves biweekly.
Grace takes time.
Your adversity is never in vain, and His invitation is always met and fulfilled in the simplest and most common of ways, like sourdough.
PS My husband likes my food now
PSS He does the dishes <3
Ways to invite God into your Lent
Just ask Him what He wants you to do?
Ask yourself..
What is keeping me away from God?
What is causing me to sin?
Where do I lack peace?
What relationships are hurting my heart?
Who needs love?
What was I doing the last time I felt most connected to the Lord?
Am I doing this “lenten practice” to chastise myself or to grow a deeper relationship with the Lord.
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